elaine s black's blog

My old friends have been my friends for a long time but they are not old. For if they are old it means that I too am old. That is inconceivable. Although the mirror and my passport may say otherwise, I am still seventeen, twenty- at most twenty six. I met a friend's mother today who is nearly 80. She too does not feel old. She too feels the girl inside and the wrinkles outside. Some people are born to be grown ups, mature adults. They have been that way from an early age. And others are born to be young at heart forever. I do not want to be a cynic. Although life sometimes knocks me for six and makes me wonder, even sad, I always want to bounce back. On my clown course I learnt that the brain cannot distinguish between a false smile and a real one. It's OK to fake it. In fact it's advisable. That way the brain will get good vibes and all will be well. So I grit my teeth and smile. And thank the lord for old friends. However far I might be from them, they will always be there in times of joy and sorrow.

i really cannot say where the time has gone. for several months now i have had the dubious title of Lady of Leisure. and I really do not know what I have done. I know what I haven't done- i haven't read a book, i haven't seen a movie, i haven't written a novel, i haven't found myself. i recently decided to put more effort into finding a job but the problem is, what do i want to do and will anyone want me to do it? at the beginning of this adventure a friend of my son warned me not to get used to unemployment! i laughed. No chance. but then the days passed into weeks and I was not willing to compromise and apply for some boring job. And then the weeks passed into months and I thought I shouldn't be so picky.  And now??? Maybe it's time I read a book. Or paint a landscape. Or finish that novel....????

i have said before that maybe i should go to india to find the real me...in the meantime I have signed up for a course "Medical Clown". Remember Patch Adams? This is a combination of workshop and lectures to find the clown within, in order to help sick children, old people, the community at large.

The course starts on 11/11, sounds like a lucky date. Last week I went on a preliminary workshop to see if I am suitable for the course and if the course is suitable for me. There were 17 of us. From all walks of life. A smattering of teachers (women) on sabbatical (this is no doubt because the course is recognised by the Ministry of Education and as such is subsidised), a business director (man) in his fifties, a girl just out of high school, a boy/man who is enrolled in a school of rabbinical studies, 2 youngsters who are doing national Service in a commune promoting Theatre Arts in the Jewish and Arab Communities, a retired nurse, and more. 75% women. People who hailed from Russia, England, Argentina, Kibbutz, Town, Moshav, Jews, Muslims and Christians.

For two hours we all went mad, threw inhibitions to the wind and clowned around. A great bunch of people. All of us looking to make fools of ourselves in order to benefit those less fortunate, those who are scared, those who are in pain.

We all signed up for the course in the end. On 11/11 we will all begin our search for the clown within. We have been promised red noses! Oh Happy Days.

yes i did it. i quit my job in marketing plastic after nearly 20 years. i originally had thought to wait until something new was on the horizon and then pack it in - i.e. the sensible way of doing things BUT there comes a time when the head cannot always be the boss. this was one of those times. once stress goes you realise what a bastard it is.

i know that eventually stress will return but in the meantime this is pure joy. but i digress. i have called this post the other me.  this is because about a month ago i rediscovered the joys of a blow job, sorry a blow dry. what the israelis call a "fen" meaning a fan derived from the fan that heats the handheld hairdrier (or is it dryer??).

i prefer to say i had a blow job. it gets peoples attention.

yep, my corkscrew curls disappeared- and instead there was a moderately long french plait (which the israelis call a chinese plait) and a very straight seventies type fringe. people i know really well walked past me on the street. i had to wear make up and clothes to match the new hairdo. lo and behold i became instantaneously  the other me. the other me is a bit younger than i am, has even more confidence, wears skintone tights and not black tights, yells at my friends for not saying hello. she is ok.but she disappears in the shower, the rain, when i get out of bed.

the curls want out, they cannot be tamed forever. so i am free to decide each day who i want to be.

the other me involves 10 minutes at the hairdressers- no more, no less.

and then there is the clown within- but that is for another post.

maybe this post should be renamed "how I blew away my job and found a blow job"? 

When has your first impression of someone turned out to be completely wrong? 
Submitted by Mana'olana.  many times

groan. and i wish it was only the bad joke i am groaning at.

my youngest son is in the army however, when he is not defending the country he is planning his social life. he is currently planning a party. the beer and the music are all arranged. and then i get a phone call. WE get a phone call. mum and dad who are out enjoying a lazy friday.

"where are you? when will you be home? i need a couple of hundred rolls and same amount of sausages for the party"

now let me explain. on friday evening the shabbat sets in, the sabbath. from about 2 pm on Fridays most shops in Israel close. defintely bakeries close. and it was already 1.30! gary and I sped to the nearest bakery- well aware that there would be little to no chance of finding the right amount of bread rolls but it was clear that I would buy up all they had. i noted they cost 8 NIS for 10. seemed reasonable. there were 55 left. i bought them and we raced to the supermarket. they had less attractive rolls and they were 6 NIS for 6. but I had no choice. I had received my orders! i bought the remaining 54 that were on the shelf. i also bought the sausages. obviously these were sold by weight and not number. it was akin to guessing the amount of sweets in a jar at the county fair. how many sausages did i imagine were in an opaque 2 kg bag??? i picked up smaller packets and counted. i estimated minmum 50 and possibly even 60 would be in each bag. i bought 4 bags and ran off in search of 91 more rolls.

the next bakery had bags of 6 for 9NIS!! daylight robbery. no way i was getting those. the kids could eat "bare" sausages without rolls! then gary remembered a supermarket in a nearby Arab village that would be open. we drove there.

at first i was happy to spot bags of 6 for 4 NIS but then gary noticed some super-duper long tasty sesame buns at the bargain price of 10 for 7NIS. and they had exactly 100. we knew our son would be proud of us, we also knew that he would only acknowledge our accomplishments with some monosyllabic grunt. what we did not expect was his utter disappointment!!!

"i thought i told you i needed 300 of each!!!:

he shouldn't have so many -hungry -friends! anyway i have organised the ear plugs and am all set for an early night.

Did you see the Harry Potter movie this weekend?  Are you going to read the new book? the film hits israel on thursday and of course i will go. and the book has been ordered. love it. love the fact that any age can enjoy it and devour it.

What's the oldest thing in your fridge?

the mold? i have a twenty year old who is apparently from the "sell by date police"- so most of the oldies get binned. but there is always that rogue almost liquid cucumber lurking somewhere in the depths with half a tomato... ugh.

too much time has elapsed. maybe i won't remember how to blog? is it like riding a bike? once my fingers hit the keyboard will the words come aflowin'? and the dyslexic typos too?

i have wanted to blog but so much has been happening that i didn't quite know where to begin, or indeed whether to begin. but i have decided to throw caution to the wind . i think writing the blog is therapy, but cheaper. a way of sorting things out. i have to be able to explain things properly in the blog.this helps me think and make decisions.

and so it goes:  i decided to make changes. starting with my job. i have spent too long trying to be sensible and telling myself that at my age i should only quit if i have an alternative. going into my office everyday was becoming detrimental to my health. it's not that i really believe that other places are intrinsically better it's just that the time has come for change. it looks like hollywood will not be calling after all, and so i will probably change one office for another. watch this space!

it will only be in a week or two however that i stop having an office and probably only then will reality sink in. i am in the euphoric stage now, when i do go to work but do not take it home with me, do not live it. can look at the bad and say- hey. i'm leaving that crap behind. there are people i will miss. there are those that will continue to be friends and those that will become a fond memory. and there are those that i will be happy to leave behind. their faces are fading already. i have even stopped c.c.ing them on e mails. they are fast becoming irrelevant to me. but two decades in one place is more than most marriages. so breakin' up will be hard to do but what the heck- the winds of change are ablowin....

What's some good advice you've given to a friend, but not followed yourself? 
Submitted by robbbiedobbbie.

Never to diagnose yourself through health sites on the web. i think over the years i have given myself some awful diseases (but recovered within minutes thank goodness).